I hear so many parents whine and complain about their kids not wanting to spend time with them. Then they fret and worry and sometimes get angry when their kid (naturally) pushes harder to get away from them. One particular mom comes to mind as I write this – well, actually 2 moms come to mind as I write this. One dreading the day her daughter moves out and the other sad because her daughters are gone and she misses them so much.
While I certainly understand missing my kids, I don’t understand these women’s plight. I love my kids, all of them, rotten as they may be, I love them and from time to time I miss them and reminisce about their childhoods but otherwise I am looking forward to renewed independence! There are things I have been waiting and wanting to do but couldn’t because I had made the choice to be a mother and that was my priority. But now, I’ve raised my family, I’ve paid my dues and done my duty so to speak. My kids are moving out and starting their own lives. It’s the natural cycle of life. Not so long ago I too was looking for my place in the world and pushed away from my parents. This is what is supposed to happen. We raise them (hopefully) well enough that they have the tools necessary to become adults. Adulthood is the goal line that we always say we can’t wait to cross and when it happens many parents are startled by it.
I remember a time when I looked at parents who had already raised their families with envy because I was still in the “hire a sitter” phase or the “need to be home to be sure they do their homework” phase or some other phase that required me to be a full time parent that stayed at home with my family while I saw those parents enjoying vacations and nights out without having to check with anyone but each other, no sitter to hire or school schedule to worry about. Their kids were grown and they could enjoy their lives however they saw fit. Don’t get me wrong, I loved spending time with my kids but every parent I’ve ever met gets tired once in a while from the day ins and outs of parenting and wishes they could just get up and go and do what they want. Now I understand that there is actually a time for that and I have reached that time so I am celebrating an empty nest not moping over it.
I will enjoy the visits I get with my grown, adult children when I get them but otherwise I plan to enjoy my life. There are things I want to do, places I want to go, things I want to make and see and experience and now is my time. And that’s why I’ve decided to change the focus of this blog. I no longer feel the desire to write a blog from the mommy angle. I’ve been there, done that. I’m embarking on new adventures and I want to write a blog from that perspective. From the perspective of a woman that is in the 2nd phase of her life with a bucket list as long as her arm. As I do, I will write. As I experience I will post and as I live I will document.
If you’re in the same boat as me and are looking forward to that 2nd phase where independence and freedom from diapers and homework and weekend curfews then join in and welcome! If you’re not at this phase yet and you are deep in the thick of diapers, homework and weekend curfews then live vicariously through me and take comfort in the fact that someday your rugrats will grow up too and then you will have a whole lot of life to live. In the meantime I’ll share my experiences and you can see how I maneuver through all this and while I’m doing it I’d appreciate hello from you when you stop to read.