Empty Nest – The Kids Are Moving Out


What?  I’m sorry, you wanna back that up a bit?  What. Did. You. Just. Say?   The kids are leaving?  Holy cow!

The kids have a been a heavily examined topic of conversation in my house as of late.  My husband and I have reached the stage where our children are grown and starting to move out.

I was talking to this one mom the other day – her twin daughters played with my youngest daughter back when they were 7 and 8 years old – she was having a hard time adjusting to her girls being grown and starting their life.

I said to her, “Give it 6 months.  In 6 months  you’re going to wake up one day and realize there’s less laundry in the hamper, more of your favorite shampoo in the bottle, you actually own a pair of your own socks that do not have holes in them and there’s food in your refrigerator.  Better yet, you suddenly find yourself with the time and money to go out and do stuff without needing a babysitter or to check the daily household schedule.”

She looked at me in shock and said, “Really?  I hate it. I miss them.”   I waved her concerns away, “Sure.  You miss them at first but after a while you get used to it.”

My husband refers to this as the proverbial ritz cracker.  It’s his weird reference – not mine-so don’t make faces at me.  I dunno.

Anyhow, according to my husband it’s the proverbial ritz cracker and it’s all my fault for holding it out in front of his nose because one day I told him, “Don’t you realize that we have this school year and next school year and then we are free.  It’s like being 16 all over again except this time I’m smarter and have more money.  I’m about to be set free.  I get to have my life back again.  We’ve been doing this for over 20 years now, aren’t you ready to be free?”

He said he had not looked at it like that and now that he has he can’t wait for it to happen.  A part of me feels bad that he’s so anxious because I never want my kids to not feel wanted but another part of me is just as excited.  I’ve raised my kids to be good adults, to take care of themselves (with a little help here and there) and to live their own lives.

If I’ve done my job then it should all work out in the wash.  Look at me, I started my own life, raised a family and survived to be a normal, responsible mom.    It’s the cycle of life and I’m ready for it to happen.  I still can’t figure out why they call it the empty nest syndrome because I’m not sad and miserable; I’m excited and ready to be full of life, not cry over an empty nest.    Besides I already had a full nest, let someone else have one.

Here’s 10 things I’m looking forward to when the last one leaves home

10.  I get an entire bathroom just for me.

9.  There won’t be anyone to use up all my favorite perfume.

8.  Nobody is going to eat the last gluten free chocolate chip cookie before I get a chance.

7.  There’s less laundry and dishes.

6.  I don’t have to give my last 20 dollar bill to someone for school book fines.

5.  I don’t have to yell at anyone

4.  I will never ever again need a babysitter.

3.  Grades, teachers, detentions (Blake Airen!) and gym clothes are a thing of the past.

2.  I don’t have to go to bed early or get up early because of one of my kids.

1.  I can travel where I want, when I want and do what I want – even if it’s done nekkid – without worrying about the kids.

1A.  Dating.  I look forward to the thrill and excitement of dating again.

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Haphazard administration and unpredictably crazy blogging topics are the staple of Kelly's (SWL's slightly weird founder) writing career. One thing you can always be sure of is that you never know what Kelly is going to post at Suburban Wife Life next.

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